"Should've" Moments

Y’all ever have those times when something happens—a solicitor phone call, a confrontation of sorts, a brief verbal encounter with a stranger, responding to the clerk at the DMV—and when you reflect on the exchange later, you have one of those “Aww, Man, I Should’ve Moments?” The same thing happens digitally—the quickest way to find a mistake in an email is to hit send, right?

I’m not that quick on my feet, literally or figuratively. My life…no, now that I think about it, it’s more like each day is filled with those “Should’ve Moments.” I should’ve said this; I should’ve done that.  Any time Terri Lilly is giving me the what-for, the things I do say or do in the moment are usually wrong and dim-witted. Admittedly, I’m at a disadvantage because she’s far brighter than I anyway, but still… It’s always during the slo-mo replay hours later that I come up with the perfect response or comment (and since I wrote about our being married for thirty-one years a few weeks ago, I’ll offer this “longevity tip”—guys, when the perfect response comes to you hours later and you find yourself headed for your bride to re-open the original discussion so you might share this new insight: Danger! Danger, Will Robinson! Abort! Abort!).

Hindsight truly is 20/20, isn’t it? Oftentimes, those Should’ve Moments remind us of a missed opportunity. We’ve all got tons of those. I remember a classic one of mine. I was between marriages and headed to the grocery store for single guy staples: beer, butter, beef jerky, one-ply toilet paper, beer, and tater chips. In typical single-guy fashion, I picked a random grocery store and was wandering the aisles in random order with no obvious plan of attack. I passed a very attractive young lady a couple times, but, being wrapped in the confidence-sucking blanket of fear and confusion the newly separated wear, the best I could muster was a nod and a brief smile each time our buggies crossed. Finally, I noticed her slowing in the butter aisle near my cart.

She stopped next to me, smiled, and said “Hi. You’re tall, could you please reach that butter for me?”

Well, Mr. Clueless smiled back, handed her the butter, and strolled away without another word. I was sitting in the truck at the light when it hit me. Damn it. That same brand of butter was on every shelf, top to bottom, that girl was trying to start a conversation. No big deal, the Universe knew I was gonna meet Terri Lilly several months later, right?

That had to be it. Maybe the Universe is protecting us when we have those Should’ve Moments. Good thing, too.

So, what’s brought all this to mind? I don’t know for certain, but I suspect it’s because I’ve finished the copy-edits for the novel manuscript. Once I hit “send,” that’s pretty much it. The novel, my book, sweet child of mine I’ve birthed, nurtured, shaped and molded for the past seven years, goes to the publisher for type-setting, then out into the world for all to see. It’s equal parts terrifying and exhilarating. Can I say it’s perfect? No. Are there other things I could change, revise? Yes, but to what end? I could revise forever, and like any parent, it’s time to let my baby go, time to see if it can stand on its own two feet. No more Should’ve Moments on this one…

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