Once these budding Einsteins regain minimal cognitive function, the emails…and on rare occasion, the office visits…begin.

…for those of you who’ve been out of college a while—yes, Thursday night is still the go-to party night and yes, early Friday mornings still feature the Walk of Shame Parade.

“…the whole car came off the ground and when it landed my whole right side SMASHED into the car (I was in the trunk). “

“Want a peak behind the glamourous professor’s curtain to see how the magic happens? Let’s unpack this email to learn the scholarly considerations that led to my response.”

I took a deep cleansing breath, and returned to the sentence frags, comma splices, and 300-500 word run-on sentences.